What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did. I did read that. Meet Anastasia Steele: Ana is just a giant mess of a human being. She's insecure to the point of it being laughable, 'klutzy' (even though she only trips twice in the entire book), and a complete ditz. She's a virgin (of course) who's never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. Right. I'm fairly certain there hasn't been a woman this naive since 'round about 1954. At one point, she thinks put

Head's up: If any of you fuckers comment at the bottom of this review and say, "You don't understand BDSM" I will hunt you down and make you eat your computer, plus the mouse, plus the keyboard, plus any other internet-connected devices in your home, including but not limited to iPhones, iPods, iPads, Androids, games consoles and ereaders. This book is not an accurate or healthy portrayal of a real BDSM relationship between two consensual and enthusiastic parties. Thus, by defending it as such,

Those of you who have had the privilege of reading Fifty Shades of Grey will appreciate the context in which this review was written. For those of you who have not read the book, well, you’ll have to buy a copy to understand the inside joke. CONTRACTDated this day 28th day of October, 2011 BETWEENP.A. LUPTON (reader, and fan, Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James)AndALL FANS OF EROTIC, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCEEXPECTATIONSReaders can expect to find within the pages of this book a flawless rendering of th...

Real Rating: negative sixty septillion starsIt's National Book Lovers Day! A day to bask in the amazing power of books to inform, amuse, educate, and alter our views and viewpoints.

You know, I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star. I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star, and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the more lame books I've read lately two stars instead of one.Thank you E.L. James, for proving to me there was something worth waiting for. Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terrible.Now hold up, all you would-be defenders. I read this whole thing. I did not s...

Introducing an even more abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT! Now with whips and chains! Fifty Shades of Shit Haters, please exit stage left.I'm not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey. I thought I might genuinely like it before I started, but all I was left with was one hell of a mindfuck. Whatever it was that brought on this knee jerk purchase seems to have mercifully left me with enough common sense to say I will not be continuing on with this series.Recently

In the words of Miss Steele, "You need to sort your shit out, Grey!" Good day, sir! Fifty Shades of Grey, more like Fifty shades of fucked up nonsense *rolls eyes* I should get a medal for just finishing this tripe. I honestly do NOT feel like revisiting this book and writing a review. I’d rather spend the time searching for ways to remove this utter nonsense from my memory. However, this book is so bad that I feel the need to warn others from this drivel. Luckily, I did not buy this garbage. I

Okay… I realized by people's comments that I never said exactly what I thought about this book. Well, I loved it. I've now read it four times. Christian Grey ranks right up there with Travis Maddox in my book boyfriend world. This series is addicting. When I need a good read this is my "go to" series. I didn't know what to think about this because I wasn't sure how I felt about BDSM… but this is sooooo much more than that. One of the BEST love stories I've read to date.

Really.. blah, blah. On & on. No purpose, no plot, meandering for meandering's sake. I didn't finish it because, quite frankly, the 'heroine' got on my last fucking nerve. The writing style is atrocious and I can't fathom how or why so many people love this tiny slice of interweb fan fiction garbage.

OOOOHHH the movie opens TODAY!! now, i'm not likely to ever see the movie, but i will say it's pretty ballsy to cast the romantic lead - a character who ties up ladies for erotic enjoyment - with the actor that many people only know as the character who ties up ladies for erotic enjoyment ... and then kills them.************************************now hear me out, people. i liked it, but i didn't like it-like it. the writing is shitty, it is, but i am a sucker for enthusiasm. and you can tell sh...

I only bought this on Kindle because I was curious to see whether a professional edit made it any better than the original fanfic (which I abandoned once I realized the plot wasn't original enough for me to suffer through the cut-rate writing). Paging through this "published" version makes me more embarrassed for the author than I was when it was in the fanfic domain, and it DEFINITELY made me lose respect for The Writer's Coffee Shop.Most distracting is the schizophrenic voice of the main chara...

I feel like there is a deeper meaning behind Fifty Shades of Grey then just BDSM and sex but the huge downfall of this book was the writing. I can see both sides of the fifty shades argument. There are points in the book where I can see abuse but there are also points where there is none. I just hate the fact that if people enjoy this book they are labeled as "pro-rape advocates" or "pro-abuse". STOP IT. Stop trying to belittle others, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You may not agree...

Post Script on May 8, 2012This book has exploded since I first read it and it seems to be one that is either loved or hated. I'm actually very thankful that I read it before any of my GR friends or anyone I knew, because I feel like if I read it now, after hearing all the hype, it would probably disappoint.People have very strong reactions to Fifty Shades and just to put in my two cents: you read different books for different reasons. In my opinion!!! ...: Was this book a great piece of literatu...

Bad Book Is Like Other Bad Book ShockAt a standing-room-only press conference earlier today, top researchers from the world famous Goodreads Center for Bodice-Ripping, Bondage and Twilight Studies revealed that a bad book was quite a lot like another bad book."When I saw the final results of the data analysis, a cold shiver went down my spine," said the Center's director. "The chain of inference is long, and at first we weren't sure all the steps were watertight, but now we're confident enough t...