As is always the case with anthologies, some stories are more engaging than others. I also listened to this as and audiobook and I have to say, some narrators were very good and some so bad I almost couldn't listen to them.All in all, this was an interesting collection, if not exactly illuminating. I did think it was good to include authors with such a wide array of backgrounds and that not each experience was rape, but each experience did show that the threat of rape lies even in something cert...

This is heavy necessary reading.It's beside the point to review a book like this, which is powerful and true, so I will just say the newest and freshest and most lingering thing I got from it:This turned the common sexist adage "women call sex they regret rape" into "there were moments I asked myself it was okay to feel raped even if I wasn't."Few moments as a reader have made me feel as seen and accepted as that one.(The sexist f*ck-ups never ask why the regretted sex felt like rape.)Bottom lin...

Excellent anthology about rape culture and the patriarchal world we live in that perpetuates it. Roxane Gay serves as editor of this powerful collection in which several writers share their stories of date rape, inappropriate touching, child molestation, and other instances of violence and harassment. I appreciate the diversity in Not That Bad, both of the writers’ experiences as well as their identities, as the collection includes women of color, queer and trans individuals, people of various a...

One of the most shocking books I´ve ever read, made possible by the courage and bravery of the authors who try to overcome their traumas by telling their personal stories of all kinds of sexual violence, enabling a far more open debate and discussions and thereby hopefully someday a society and justice system that helps and cares for the victims.It begins with diminutives, escalates to sexism and sexual harassment, and ends with abuse. Already in childhood, a boy gets the instruction to manly de...

This has been, by far, the toughest book I've ever read. A numerical rating doesn't even seem to make sense with this essay collection. How do you rate people's trauma? Raw. Unflinching. Haunting. An essay collection that will be sitting with me for a long time.

Author/editor Roxane Gay has assembled nearly thirty essays from people who experienced rape, sexual abuse and/or child molestation. From understandable outrage ('Good Girls' by Amy Jo Burns and "All the Angry Women' by Lyz Lenz) to young innocence destroyed ('I Said Yes' by Anthony Frame and 'Picture Perfect' by Sharisse Tracey - both extremely heartbreaking) to the ugly side of the American entertainment industry (actress Ally Sheedy's timely 'Stasis') to the therapy process (Stacey May Fowles...

Update: Bumping this down to 3.5 stars as I thought more about the anthology's lack of cohesion and editing.Really tough to get into at first, obviously due to the emotionally difficult subject matter. I appreciated the diversity of stories, both in terms of the authors' backgrounds and their experiences with rape culture. I expected all of the essays to be from people directly affected by rape, but liked that the authors had different experiences within the culture as a whole, and I think that

Everyone needs to read this. Everyone. So many brave stories. The audio version is phenomenal. Throughout, I'm reminded of Frida Kahlo's painting, "A Few Small Nips," which quotes the words of a man after he murdered his girlfriend.

This book should be required reading.

We tell ourselves it’s not that bad. We’re told we’re angry women.It is that bad. I am angry. We should be.

A hard book to read. The pervasiveness of sexual abuse in all our lives is sickening. There is a wide variety of stories, and I wish I didn't have to say to myself: "Yes, I've experienced this. And that. And that too." I hope writing these essays was cathartic. Not all essays were equally well written, but they all were equally affecting and of value.The one stood out for me, and it couldn't not to because of my identity as a reader and my interactions with other readers here, on Goodreads, was

“Don’t ever use an insult for a woman that you wouldn’t use for a man. Say “jerk” or “shithead” or “asshole.” Don’t say “bitch” or “whore” or “slut.” If you say “asshole,” you’re criticizing her parking skills. If you say “bitch,” you’re criticizing her gender.”Trigger warning: violence, rape, and sexual assault.I can't even begin to express the whirlwind of emotions that I felt while reading this book. They ran through my veins like poison, twisted my guts, brought tears to my eyes, and made me...

Impressions, perceptions, ideas, emotions, concepts on rape and rape culture. Far more complex than is evident. Roxane Gay compiles a cornucopia of essays about all aspects of rape and rape culture.  Rape culture is defined as a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse. Multiple points of view are explored here (though only from the victim perspective).  There are testimonies about how the rape culture somewh...

I feel like a bad person for not totally loving this book. It was just hard to get through and some of the stories didn't really move me one way or the other. I ended up just feeling sad while reading and finally finishing this book off with some wine. I think also that looking at rape culture is a huge undertaking, and so the stories could have flowed a bit better between them to the next story. Also I wish that things were not left vague in a few stories. A few times I went wait what happened

Trigger warning: violence, rape and sexual assault.This book was a very well-crafted book with various important voices talking about such an important subject matter. This is an important read not just to people who do not understand the lifelong impact of sexual abuse, rape, and trauma but for everyone.

Sometimes, when a book speaks deeply to me, I have problems putting into words what my thoughts are. This is one of those cases. Roxane Gay has built an anthology so strong, both in subject matter and in style, that I am feeling inadequate talking about it. I will try though, so bear with me while I work through my feelings.It comes as no surprise that Roxane Gay is my hero. When this anthology arrived on my doorstep (I had preordered it months ago), I could not wait to start reading it. And I r...

Anyone who doesn't understand the lifelong impact of sexual abuse, rape, and trauma (and how very different it is from regret over a bad date) should read this book. An alternate title could have been been "Get Over It."⠀⠀This also will probably be valuable to people who haven't been able to share their own stories but can find comfort in not being alone. These personal essays are not all by straight women, so that adds a necessary diversity to the picture. Roxane Gay says in the introduction th...

Powerful. Raw. Stunning writing. Pretty much everything I would expect from a collection put together by Roxane Gay. What is it like to live in a culture where it often seems like it is a question of when, not if, a woman will encounter some kind of sexual violence? This is book about rape and rape culture. Some of the stories are empowering, some are depressing, but all talk about important aspects of the world we live in. Many of the writers explore how rape culture is not just about the act...

I went on a bit of a journey through Opposite Land while reading this book. I love that this book exists. I hate that it has to. The title was what initially grabbed my attention: Not That Bad. How many times have I and countless others said that?! Was it because it wasn’t that bad? No. It was that bad but we still live in a world that, on the whole, doesn’t want to know about sexual assault.It doesn’t quite feel right to say I have a favourite anything where rape culture is concerned so instead...

"This is your life. This is your life. This is your life."I'm a huge fan of Roxane Gay & her ability to get the conversation started about topics we'd prefer not to talk about.The introduction of this book has Roxane Gay recount the "terrible, life-changing experience" where as a twelve year old, she was gang raped by a group of boys, in the woods near her home.It was a horrific event which she tried to forget. For a long time she shrugged it off as being "not that bad" (in comparison to what ot...