The Adventures of Charlie Conti: Small Sacrifices

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This isn't a story about a normal girl.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be a normal girl, but considering my dad is a professional, unionised minion and has worked for such villainous luminaries as the Crash and Burn Twins, Doctor Death , Yellow Peril and Captain Calamari, chances of living out my life with any kind of normality are pretty slim. I'm surprised our family has survived this long.

My name's Charlie Conti and I'm fourteen years old. I'm a bit of a nerd, I guess, because my role models are Marie Curie and Maryam Mirzakhani instead of Miley Cyrus or any of the Kardashians. I guess I have a bit of a mad scientist streak in me, although I have no interest in taking over the world or anything.

I just want to live the regular kind of life.

And that brings me to this story.

You see, my dad has dragged me and my little brother, Luca, away from Melbourne where I've spent most of my life so far. Out of the Light and into the Darkness of regional Victoria to a coastal town called Henty Bay.

Yeah, I'd never heard of it either.

I can see the benefits though. After all the problems with the Port Melbourne Intifada, where Captain Calamari totally lost it and my dad ended up at the bottom of Port Phillip Bay, we had to leave the city. There were some harsh words thrown around and maybe a few vendettas were forged in the fires of the moment.

So we had to move. Dad, or The Undertaker as he's known in the business, was damaged goods. The most he could hope for if he stayed in Melbourne would have been prolonged unemployment. The more likely outcome would have been a long stay in prison or a knife in the back.

I'm not being melodramatic. These kinds of things do happen.

The family's new plan is to move to Henty Bay so Luca and I can grow up and live normal lives. Maybe even go to university and get an office job with superannuation and a chance to grow old without having to worry about dodging laser beams and undead Vikings. My brother and I have our own little dreams. Luca wants a puppy, or a bearded dragon lizard thing; and I just want to stay longer than six months in the one school.

I told you I was a nerd.